B r o k e n n e s s

Brokenness is something that none of us like.  We ignore it, deny it, fight it, avoid it, and run from it. That's normal.   We weren’t originally created to be broken. Brokenness is a blaring reminder of our inadequacies and imperfections.  It’s been two and a half years since my daughter horrifically betrayed me, and over 2 years when my true love was tragically killed, and over 2 years when my friend was murdered while helping me. I have become intimate with brokenness.  

These past several months have been teaching me even more about what I thought I was already intimate with.  Sins of omission have ripped at my brokenness without me even realizing it…even though I’ve felt it.  My sins of omission are many, but there’s been one reoccurring one these past few months: being quiet at times when I should be sharing God’s redemptive love.  Two dear people to me have suddenly died in the past few months…and I see missed opportunity to have shared the keys of Heaven.

As a Christian, I am to be the salt & light of this world. Jesus gave me THE example. He was very vocal. He took opportunities and made opportunities to share the keys of Heaven...verbally.  I need to get better at that. How pretentious and lazy of me to think that my life will speak that with actions alone - it requires effort, being intentional, speaking Truth, at every given opportunity.  I find myself silencing myself much too often, and I'm learning that's just bowing to the opposing kingdom...Truth given in love will not make me look stupid or whatever it is I'm trying to avoid...it will just serve to let others know I really care about them...and hopefully, that will translate into the real Truth that God loves them madly, and their submission to that love!

Everything in the right-side-up Kingdom has redemptive value…even my brokenness. You see, I’m gaining a spiritual strengthening and richness that couldn’t be obtained otherwise.  Acknowledging my brokenness leads to receiving His wholeness, which redeems all of me.  It’s when His wholeness is unleashed in me and pours out of all my places of brokenness that I can effectively love others.  That’s one of the countless things I love about this God I serve – He takes my brokenness and replaces it with His greatness to accomplish only what He can do. 

Brokenness.  May I be more aware of mine so I may be more used by Him.